Today’s guest post is by Erik of The Mastermind Within. Take it away, Erik!
Make no mistake, navigating the dating scene as a financially motivated individual is tough.
I’m going to make a guess here that if you are single and seeking financial freedom, you probably have the following thoughts:
- Spending money is something you don’t like doing and you are somewhat frugal
- You are a little bit more reserved with your thoughts and actions
- You are looking for a partner who has a similar mindset with regards to money
It probably seems like everyone you talk to is the complete opposite of you. For starters, the average savings rate in the United States is roughly 3%, and you are saving way more money than that.
I bet you’re frustrated because if only people cared about money the way you did, then you could find someone with ease. You are struggling to find that person and not having any luck.
If only there was someone out there you cared about budgets, spreadsheets, and FIRE just like me.
Here’s the thing: that person in your head? The one? They don’t exist.
Going on an adventure to find someone is an exercise in scarcity.
Being open to meeting someone, someone who values you for you is step one.
Being open will set you free and help you live in abundance. When you are open to new possibilities, you are able to naturally invite someone into your life and share your awesomeness with that person for the better.
In this post, I will be sharing with you my tips for finding love as a FIRE seeking individual, why getting out of your comfort zone and spending money isn’t the worst thing, and why living with an abundance mindset will result in success in your relationships and life.
Step 1: Open Up and Live in Abundance
“Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.” — Jim Rohn
When I was a freshman in college, I was dating a girl who I thought was the one. We shared so many similar thoughts, interests and hobbies, and things were going incredibly well for many months.
I thought she was the one, and fell into a mindset of scarcity.
After falling into this mindset of scarcity, I was weak and scared to lose her.
I’m sure you know where this is headed: she broke up with me because of my neediness and scarcity mindset.
It was the wake-up call I needed. This set me free to take action to work on myself and improve myself.
My whole life to that point, I was told that I needed to find “the one”. There’s only one person who can make you the happiest person and let you live a fulfilling life.
Let’s look at the facts here: there are over 7 billion people in the world. That’s 7,000,000,000 if you needed a reminder.
“The one” is a lie.
It took me a few years to realize this. As a natural introvert and conservative thinker, it took me even longer to embrace this thought.
Instead of looking to find that one person, I should instead be open to the possibility of meeting someone who may or may not work out.
When I met someone new, instead of saying, “Oh, they aren’t good with money”, or “oh, they aren’t as in shape as they could be”, and dismissing them on the spot, I looked to give them a chance and see if their mindset or situation could be tweaked to fix those things.
Being open to the possibility that someone could be your type, or could be your one is freeing and allows others to naturally come into the picture for you.
Step 2: Stop Apologizing for Being You
You are unique. You have your quirks and interests which are special to you.
I get it! You love talking about money and love spreadsheets!
Maybe you love biking or rock climbing.
It’s possible you like reading, going out to eat with friends, playing video games, or spending time with family for hours playing cards.
Just because someone else doesn’t like what you like, or isn’t interested in what you are interested in, doesn’t mean you should be sorry for being you.
They just aren’t your type.
Or maybe they are and there are other interests that you share.
Figuring out what you love to do, taking action around these things, and involving others in your life who love the same things is the key to happiness and living a fulfilling life.
Stop apologizing for who you are. You are unique and special — and there is someone who’d love to be with you.
Step 3: Realize YOU are the Prize
I’m going to be a little arrogant here, but it’s the truth.
Money runs the world — with money, you have more options. With money, you are free to do what you want, when you want.
Since you are on the path to financial independence and financial freedom, I’m guessing you have some money (or in the future will have money).
As we talked about earlier, many people don’t have money in this world. Some do, but their mindset, interests, and motivations might be different than yours.
And that’s okay.
Remember, there are 6,999,999,999+ other people in the world.
You are the prize as a result of your wealth.
Now, what I’m not saying is to go out and brag about money (please don’t be that guy or gal at the bar bragging about salary or investments… ugh).
What I’m saying is that you should be confident in yourself and understand you are the prize.
You won’t settle for anything less than amazing, because you have options.
The tenets of financial independence can be applied to other areas of life. While someone might not be financially motivated, their mindset might be in the right place.
Sustainability, minimalism, long term thinking, wealth, frugality — these are things which can be expressed in different words and ways.
At the end of the day, remember you are the prize and are the creator of your life.
You are Amazing
Just because your luck to this point hasn’t been great, doesn’t mean that things can’t and won’t change one day.
Being open, living in abundance, and living in a beautiful state will bring joy into your life.
You are amazing and the prize. Be unapologetically you, there’s no reason to hide your awesomeness.
Success may not come today, it may not come tomorrow.
Over time, through applying the principles of abundance and giving, you will find love.
- How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams
- Consistent Efforts Daily WILL Result in Massive Success
- Give and You Shall Receive: Live with an Abundance Mindset
Erik runs the blog and podcast The Mastermind Within. On his site, he shares tips and strategies to unlock your full potential in the areas of personal finance, self-improvement, and entrepreneurship. He loves to help others, and uses his site as an outlet for this passion.