An Open Letter to Single FIRE-Seeking Individuals Looking For Love

Today’s guest post is by Erik of The Mas­ter­mind With­in. Take it away, Erik!

Make no mis­take, nav­i­gat­ing the dat­ing scene as a finan­cial­ly moti­vat­ed indi­vid­ual is tough.

I’m going to make a guess here that if you are sin­gle and seek­ing finan­cial free­dom, you prob­a­bly have the fol­low­ing thoughts:

• Spend­ing mon­ey is some­thing you don’t like doing and you are some­what frugal
• You are a lit­tle bit more reserved with your thoughts and actions
• You are look­ing for a part­ner who has a sim­i­lar mind­set with regards to money

It prob­a­bly seems like every­one you talk to is the com­plete oppo­site of you. For starters, the aver­age sav­ings rate in the Unit­ed States is rough­ly 3%, and you are sav­ing way more mon­ey than that.

I bet you’re frus­trat­ed because if only peo­ple cared about mon­ey the way you did, then you could find some­one with ease. You are strug­gling to find that per­son and not hav­ing any luck.

If only there was some­one out there you cared about bud­gets, spread­sheets, and FIRE just like me.

Here’s the thing: that per­son in your head? The one? They don’t exist.

Going on an adven­ture to find some­one is an exer­cise in scarcity.

Being open to meet­ing some­one, some­one who val­ues you for you is step one.

Being open will set you free and help you live in abun­dance. When you are open to new pos­si­bil­i­ties, you are able to nat­u­ral­ly invite some­one into your life and share your awe­some­ness with that per­son for the better.

In this post, I will be shar­ing with you my tips for find­ing love as a FIRE seek­ing indi­vid­ual, why get­ting out of your com­fort zone and spend­ing mon­ey isn’t the worst thing, and why liv­ing with an abun­dance mind­set will result in suc­cess in your rela­tion­ships and life.

Step 1: Open Up and Live in Abundance

“Your lev­el of suc­cess will rarely exceed your lev­el of per­son­al devel­op­ment, because suc­cess is some­thing you attract by the per­son you become.” — Jim Rohn

When I was a fresh­man in col­lege, I was dat­ing a girl who I thought was the one. We shared so many sim­i­lar thoughts, inter­ests and hob­bies, and things were going incred­i­bly well for many months.

I thought she was the one, and fell into a mind­set of scarcity.

After falling into this mind­set of scarci­ty, I was weak and scared to lose her.

I’m sure you know where this is head­ed: she broke up with me because of my need­i­ness and scarci­ty mindset.

It was the wake-up call I need­ed. This set me free to take action to work on myself and improve myself.

My whole life to that point, I was told that I need­ed to find “the one”. There’s only one per­son who can make you the hap­pi­est per­son and let you live a ful­fill­ing life.

Let’s look at the facts here: there are over 7 bil­lion peo­ple in the world. That’s 7,000,000,000 if you need­ed a reminder.

“The one” is a lie.

It took me a few years to real­ize this. As a nat­ur­al intro­vert and con­ser­v­a­tive thinker, it took me even longer to embrace this thought.

Instead of look­ing to find that one per­son, I should instead be open to the pos­si­bil­i­ty of meet­ing some­one who may or may not work out.

When I met some­one new, instead of say­ing, “Oh, they aren’t good with mon­ey”, or “oh, they aren’t as in shape as they could be”, and dis­miss­ing them on the spot, I looked to give them a chance and see if their mind­set or sit­u­a­tion could be tweaked to fix those things.

Being open to the pos­si­bil­i­ty that some­one could be your type, or could be your one is free­ing and allows oth­ers to nat­u­ral­ly come into the pic­ture for you.

Step 2: Stop Apologizing for Being You

You are unique. You have your quirks and inter­ests which are spe­cial to you.

I get it! You love talk­ing about mon­ey and love spreadsheets!

Maybe you love bik­ing or rock climbing.

It’s pos­si­ble you like read­ing, going out to eat with friends, play­ing video games, or spend­ing time with fam­i­ly for hours play­ing cards.

Just because some­one else does­n’t like what you like, or isn’t inter­est­ed in what you are inter­est­ed in, does­n’t mean you should be sor­ry for being you.

They just aren’t your type.

Or maybe they are and there are oth­er inter­ests that you share.

Fig­ur­ing out what you love to do, tak­ing action around these things, and involv­ing oth­ers in your life who love the same things is the key to hap­pi­ness and liv­ing a ful­fill­ing life.

Stop apol­o­giz­ing for who you are. You are unique and spe­cial — and there is some­one who’d love to be with you.

Step 3: Realize YOU are the Prize

I’m going to be a lit­tle arro­gant here, but it’s the truth.

Mon­ey runs the world — with mon­ey, you have more options. With mon­ey, you are free to do what you want, when you want.

Since you are on the path to finan­cial inde­pen­dence and finan­cial free­dom, I’m guess­ing you have some mon­ey (or in the future will have money).

As we talked about ear­li­er, many peo­ple don’t have mon­ey in this world. Some do, but their mind­set, inter­ests, and moti­va­tions might be dif­fer­ent than yours.

And that’s okay.

Remem­ber, there are 6,999,999,999+ oth­er peo­ple in the world.

You are the prize as a result of your wealth.

Now, what I’m not say­ing is to go out and brag about mon­ey (please don’t be that guy or gal at the bar brag­ging about salary or invest­ments… ugh).

What I’m say­ing is that you should be con­fi­dent in your­self and under­stand you are the prize.

You won’t set­tle for any­thing less than amaz­ing, because you have options.

The tenets of finan­cial inde­pen­dence can be applied to oth­er areas of life. While some­one might not be finan­cial­ly moti­vat­ed, their mind­set might be in the right place.

Sus­tain­abil­i­ty, min­i­mal­ism, long term think­ing, wealth, fru­gal­i­ty — these are things which can be expressed in dif­fer­ent words and ways.

At the end of the day, remem­ber you are the prize and are the cre­ator of your life.

You are Amazing

Just because your luck to this point has­n’t been great, does­n’t mean that things can’t and won’t change one day.

Being open, liv­ing in abun­dance, and liv­ing in a beau­ti­ful state will bring joy into your life.

You are amaz­ing and the prize. Be unapolo­get­i­cal­ly you, there’s no rea­son to hide your awesomeness.

Suc­cess may not come today, it may not come tomorrow.

Over time, through apply­ing the prin­ci­ples of abun­dance and giv­ing, you will find love.

Relat­ed resources:

• How to Be a 3% Man, Win­ning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams
• Con­sis­tent Efforts Dai­ly WILL Result in Mas­sive Success
• Give and You Shall Receive: Live with an Abun­dance Mindset

Erik runs the blog and pod­cast The Mas­ter­mind With­in. On his site, he shares tips and strate­gies to unlock your full poten­tial in the areas of per­son­al finance, self-improve­ment, and entre­pre­neur­ship. He loves to help oth­ers, and uses his site as an out­let for this passion.